Everyone has been so sympathetic and supportive throughout our whole adoption process. I am so thankful. Unfortunately, when I woke up this morning I had the blues. Before long I had worked myself up into a real pity party. We committed to adopt Kaflaure on March 1st. We started gathering our paperwork before that. So it has been almost 9 months since we started. It's such a long process and we can't seem to make any progress. I just kept getting these mental pictures : the first was that I was on a racehorse that I could not get to go through the starting gate even though the race had already started and many of the horses were already half around the field; another was of me trying to paddle a canoe across a lake and I kept getting caught in a whirlpool and going in circles; then I thought about paying "mother may I?" and I kept getting the go one step forward and two steps back while everyone else was getting giant steps or bunny hops. I have quite an imagination and decided I had better get up and quit dwelling on my adoption woes.
The kids and I have been studying for a couple of weeks about cheerfulness/joy in our daily family devotions. The last few days it has been about having joy in the midst of troubles and trials. Caleb remarked the morning I told him of Rose Carly health issues that "isn't it timely that we should be studying about having joy even when things are bad and now we find out about Rose Carly?" How true. I decided today would be a good day for me to review the past lessons on my own.
Well, this week we saw God answer prayers with Rose Carly. Today I received a monthly newsletter from a minister I truly respect. He reminded me that God sees the future and He has a plan for my life, my family, and this adoption. I am not sure who we are going to adopt, if we are going to adopt, or how long it will take if we do but He does. It's all under control. I just have to let go.